Wherein we discuss the three levels of friendship and a handy way to think through how to give feedback to a friend (or to a potential friend!).
What's the difference between a useful or pleasant friendship and a virtuous friendship? And what's a practice that aids us in growing virtue whether we're the givers or the receivers of it? These two questions, and maybe others, are answered in this podcast...
We reference Aristotle's Nicomachean Ethics (again), and John Cuddeback's True Friendship, as well as St. John Paul II's Love and Responsibility (I'll give the actual quote right...now):
"This is what is called unrequited love, which as everyone knows is fraught with pain and suffering. If a love of this kind persists, as it sometimes does, for a very long time, this is because of some inner obstinacy, which however tends to distort love and rob it of its proper character." I think I said something to the effect that unrequited love can turn monstrous-- JPII just says distorted and robbed of its proper character. Like a monster.
The breakdown for feedback is as follows:
The True: objectively, what was done, and subjectively, how I received it and how I felt as a result
The Good: The person I'm talking to is good, is called to greatness, and I am there, saying these things, to work toward their good, not mine, all for the glory of God
The Beautiful: Invite them into the next step with me in this life we're sharing
And the response: Thank you! Even if the feedback is off, or we disagree with it, or they leave out some or most of the steps, we can be grateful that they had the courage and love to give it. (If they did skip some or most steps, now is not the time to teach them-- but don't put it off too long...)
For giving us feedback, feel free to leave a review, or to contact us at ouroutpost@gmail.com. Also, feel free to share this episode, or its contents, or use the form of feedback when next you're needing to communicate something difficult to a friend, and let us know how it goes!
And feel free to subscribe to this podcast. Our goal is to produce faithful, formative, and conversation-starting content for Catholic disciples of Jesus who are wrestling to be missionary-minded in their normal, everyday lives-- so if that applies to you or a friend of yours, we're hoping to serve you as best as we're able!